Life Update

I have been trying to make the most of my time the past couple of days and I feel so good. This was the first week back we returned to campus since the quarantine began and we are still fighting for change, justice, and equity. I feel extra motivated and have been using the extra time in my day to simply educate myself. During my time back in California I decided to finally challenge myself so I bought 3 plants. I told myself, if I could keep at least one of these three alive for one month, I will buy another plant and slowly continue to grow my collection. I have been educating myself by writing down which plants are best for beginners, which plants do best with indirect sunlight from a west facing window, best care for each of the ones I bought, when and how each plant prefers to receive water, and down to how to properly propagate a plant, prune when I see something wrong, and how to repot. I bought small plants because I didn't want to spend so much if I was just going to kill them. So I started small and so far I've been seeing growth in my baby fiddle leaf fig tree! A new leaf has sprouted but I'm thinking of pruning the one next to it because since I bought it, the leaf was already damaged anyways. The journey has been fun and rewarding so far.

I've also been working on being more proactive within my OT program. I may not have been elected for SOTA social media chair at the beginning of the year but there's been more opportunities coming my way and I am excited to see where God takes me. I have volunteered to work with professors to go over our program curriculum to advocate for more inclusivity and diversity as well as be a part of the applicant process for that. Just yesterday I got the email that I was officially placed in group for the applicant process. I have also been introduced to COTAD by Alexis and got the go from the SOTA advisor to take the next step. I am so excited to be part of this change in my school as this is another step towards a more diverse program. I truly believe we as future healthcare professionals should be educated on the disparities and challenges minorities face. Sometimes I get scared at the thought that I'm being a little too vocal about my stance in this civil rights movement because Arizona is a red state and I already have one classmate being open about supporting trump and wondered if the rest of my classmates who stayed silent are also Pro-Trump. I've been educating myself in the history of Black Americans and have learned so much and I know I want to keep educating myself to be the best ally I can be.

And lastly I have been equipping myself more with the Word of God by listening to testimonies, recorded services, and following fellow Christian's on social media. I think it is important to realize that we are currently in a state of war and should equip ourselves with the word of God. For my specifically, I grew up in a Filipino American Christian Church so I was surrounded by a lot of close minded people (traditional Filipino elders) tied in with using the Bible as reasons to be racist. I decided to separate myself from religion and just focus myself with the Word of God because I didn't like what a lot of the Christian's I grew up with believed in. George Floyd died yet they stay quiet and don't offer up a prayer to not only his life but the lives of the innocent black people dying and then finding reasons to justify their death? They aren't reflecting on their own bias and are not willing to unlearn unjust traits and thoughts. I was disappointed in how the people in my old church took upon this situation and their lack of heart to acknowledge the black lives matter movement and continue to push that all lives matter. The Christian pastors I've followed have done such a great job at addressing the issue and really reflecting on what the church has done in the past and came up a plan with how we can be better.

Mentally, I'm getting drained. It's so hard to balance everything right now that I've had to sign off and delete some apps that triggered me with the whole lack of awareness and ignorance people hold on social media. I've tried to share my opinion and back it up with resources that debunk theirs and at this point I just want to focus my energy with continued education as well as with what I'm doing within my program. I'll worry about everyone else after, haha. Sometimes my bad thoughts come back, sometimes I think of and miss my cousin, sometimes I just feel empty and numb, some afternoon's I'll just randomly burst into tears, and being back in AZ has just overall increased my feelings of loneliness and desire for some form of company.