I'm Not An Animal.

There is no harm in a compliment… to an extent. I will accept your compliment. Thank you for thinking I am pretty. Thank you for liking my shoes. Thank you for appreciating my make up for today.

Thank. You.

What I will not thank you for is a sexual remark or any action that will make me feel uncomfortable not only in my body and my thoughts but with my overall safety. It scares me that some men think girls should be THANKING them through their remark along the lines of, "Tasty panties" or "Hey beautiful can I get a taste of you?" No. In no way is that a compliment! How dare you call females rude for not being able to thank you in response to a "compliment" like that. "Cat calling" or whatever you want to call it is not okay. A stranger to stranger interaction is even worse. I understand that males are targets of cat calling as well, but the majority of victims are females. Their age does not matter.

I was having a photo shoot with my best friend down Amar when these men in different trucks who were driving by would roll down their windows and shout at us. It was a gloomy day, we were fully clothed with sweaters, stockings, coats, pants, and yet they still thought we were asking for a compliment or drawing attention to ourselves. They would shout things like, "Aye!" "Hey Mami," and so on. It was a quick line because they were in a moving vehicle. I understand that may not seem sexual, but they were trying to get our attention as if calling after a cat or a dog. Was it necessary to roll down your window and share your piece of mind? There was one truck who even made a U-turn to get back on the side of the street we were on. Can you already imagine how fearful we became? My friend and I turned around and RAN up the hill to hide. We were scared. We quickly ran back to my car and drove off.

In another instance, I was on my way home from school one hot day (let's think about how hot it gets in California). Just before, I had a presentation for my speech class and it was required we dress up. I wore slacks and a button up with an undershirt. My car was hot after class so I had to blast the air conditioner. I felt tight in my button up so I decided to remove it to help cool me off faster. The seatbelt was pressed on my chest making my bust appear bigger and as I was slowing down to stop at a red light, the car next to me gives me a honk and I turn out of curiosity and see two older men smiling and staring at me. They were nodding their heads, raising their eyebrows, and waving at me. I was alone in the car and I was just ready to speed off once that light turned green.

Bottom line, I feared for my life both times. Those two are not the only times something like that has happened to me. It's gotten to the point where I grew so much fear to just walk somewhere alone. I've even had an instance where I walked out of a public restroom wearing leggings and an oversized sweater and a group of guys thought it would be fun to surround me and follow me for a short while and circle around me. They began speaking in another language and started to laugh when they knew I was getting scared. I remained quiet throughout that moment because I did not want to start anything. I literally had to walk it out until they decided to stop.

How dare you blame females! "She was asking for it, look what she's wearing." It's like pulling a guys pants down and saying he was asking for it because he was sagging, but really, he just enjoys sagging that's how he chooses to dress. How dare you say women cannot wear what they feel comfortable in because they're "asking for attention". We should feel confident to express ourselves without living in fear that someone will disrespect us at least once throughout the day. Cat calling is disrespectful, demeaning, deHUMANIZING, etc. If you think catcalling will score you a date with a girl, the honest truth is it will do the complete opposite. This is a form of sexual harassment and must come to an end. Don't even catcall as a joke because no one is laughing but you and your immature friends. Women are not objects, we are not an animal, we are human. We deserve every right to choose how we want to live our lives, what we want to wear, and being able to go wherever we want without praying no one will harass them on the street. We should not have to feel endangered when running errands alone. Catcalling really increases women's fears of being a victim of sexual assault. This needs to end.

Know how to give a proper compliment or don't give one at all. There is a difference between, "Excuse me, how are you doing?"/"You look lovely today" and "Aye lemme see whats under that dress!"/"Ay ma!" Throw these trashy actions away.

"Depth over distance was all I asked of you
And everybody round here's acting like a stone
Still there's things I'd do, darling, I'd go blind for you
If you let it go sometimes, let it go sometimes, let it go
Just let it go sometimes"

I just wanted to share this beautiful song by Ben Howard called "Depth Over Distance". I think it is a beautiful song with a heart jerking meaning behind it. I feel like I can relate to this song in many different ways and I hope you guys can take the time to listen to this! To me, I would say this is most certainly one of those "beautifully haunting" songs that really make the listener sit back and take in every feeling that the song puts in them.

Welcoming the New Year

Haven't been posting on here because I've been enjoying my 3 weeks of winter break. I was not able to do some things planned pre-break, but I really did enjoy my short vacation. I caught up with many friends and made new ones along the way. Glad to have a grand holiday season this year! Family all came together from far places. Stress level has decreased and many blessings have been present. But sadly, we're back to school tomorrow.

Welcoming the New Year is not as grand for me anymore. The whole "new year, new me" saying does not go for me. I don't believe there has to be a new year to be a new person. Along the way, I have learned that one must want and be open to change to make a change. It does not have to be a new year to become a new person because we all have those experiences that give us a slap in the face to change. Or, it's just a reflection period and telling yourself it's time to start working on a better individual you can become. When it came to the famous New Year's Resolution, I never really followed through with it. But if I had to make one now it would be:

• Never stop walking with The Lord
• Learn to accept whatever comes your way

My resolutions used to be:

• Eat healthy and exercise 
• Keep your room clean
• Stop cursing
• …& so on

Growing up I learned that life is so much more than just those simple resolutions above. I agree that I really should start eating healthier and start working out more consistently, but what about reaching out to the less fortunate? Being a better me? Start inviting more friends to church or to bible studies? I need to learn to become more Christ-like and becoming more patient and forgiving with those around me because I tend to lose my temper easily.

But honestly, 2014 alone taught me so many things:

• God never makes mistakes. There is a purpose to everything! Keep your faith and trust onto Him and he will provide. 
• Your group of friends will shrink and these people will have their own set of friends, but at the end of the day, you will always be there for one another no matter what.
• A good relationship with family is key.
• You will lose friends but you will make new ones no matter what. 
• Time alone is crucial. Use this time to reflect on your actions and to learn more about yourself and the God given tools that are handed to you. 
• Be a blessing to others. 
• It is okay to open your heart again, but you have to remember that you will be heartbroken every here and there.
• Fight for what you believe in and fight for someone you care about. 
• Death is inevitable but it is important to always cherish your time for your loved ones. Take every opportunity to be with them and make the most with the time you have together.
• Surround yourself with friends who help you grow and improve--not friends who will bring you down.
• School is a pain in the butt but you can't give up now. 
• Love everyone, as well as your enemies. 
• Family time is important.
• Not everyone will like you, but that's okay. 
• Do not push away those who truly care about you and who want to help. 
• Walking with God makes living a whole lot better even though there are many tribulations that come our way. 
• Give people time alone before you make any quick decisions that may taint a friendship. 
• Some of the best things in life do not come to you easily. 
• Keep "doing you" and God will provide. 
• Don't listen to what people say when they try to bring you down and step on your dreams!!!
• Concerts are super fun to attend and you make great memories. 

When you take the time to reflect on the journey of your life, you see that everything is one big blessing. You must always thank The Lord above for all he is doing in your life. Sometimes we hit rock bottom and don't know how to get out of the deep hole we fall into, but honestly prayer is important--Prayer and growing a strong relationship with Him above. We may not hear Him speak but through us He is making a way. I'm sure we all believe that, "actions speak louder than words," so take a step back and look at all the things He has done in your life. How can you not feel blessed? 

May you all have a great year! 

Charlene