There is no harm in a compliment… to an extent. I will accept your compliment. Thank you for thinking I am pretty. Thank you for liking my shoes. Thank you for appreciating my make up for today.
Thank. You.
What I will not thank you for is a sexual remark or any action that will make me feel uncomfortable not only in my body and my thoughts but with my overall safety. It scares me that some men think girls should be THANKING them through their remark along the lines of, "Tasty panties" or "Hey beautiful can I get a taste of you?" No. In no way is that a compliment! How dare you call females rude for not being able to thank you in response to a "compliment" like that. "Cat calling" or whatever you want to call it is not okay. A stranger to stranger interaction is even worse. I understand that males are targets of cat calling as well, but the majority of victims are females. Their age does not matter.
I was having a photo shoot with my best friend down Amar when these men in different trucks who were driving by would roll down their windows and shout at us. It was a gloomy day, we were fully clothed with sweaters, stockings, coats, pants, and yet they still thought we were asking for a compliment or drawing attention to ourselves. They would shout things like, "Aye!" "Hey Mami," and so on. It was a quick line because they were in a moving vehicle. I understand that may not seem sexual, but they were trying to get our attention as if calling after a cat or a dog. Was it necessary to roll down your window and share your piece of mind? There was one truck who even made a U-turn to get back on the side of the street we were on. Can you already imagine how fearful we became? My friend and I turned around and RAN up the hill to hide. We were scared. We quickly ran back to my car and drove off.
In another instance, I was on my way home from school one hot day (let's think about how hot it gets in California). Just before, I had a presentation for my speech class and it was required we dress up. I wore slacks and a button up with an undershirt. My car was hot after class so I had to blast the air conditioner. I felt tight in my button up so I decided to remove it to help cool me off faster. The seatbelt was pressed on my chest making my bust appear bigger and as I was slowing down to stop at a red light, the car next to me gives me a honk and I turn out of curiosity and see two older men smiling and staring at me. They were nodding their heads, raising their eyebrows, and waving at me. I was alone in the car and I was just ready to speed off once that light turned green.
Bottom line, I feared for my life both times. Those two are not the only times something like that has happened to me. It's gotten to the point where I grew so much fear to just walk somewhere alone. I've even had an instance where I walked out of a public restroom wearing leggings and an oversized sweater and a group of guys thought it would be fun to surround me and follow me for a short while and circle around me. They began speaking in another language and started to laugh when they knew I was getting scared. I remained quiet throughout that moment because I did not want to start anything. I literally had to walk it out until they decided to stop.
How dare you blame females! "She was asking for it, look what she's wearing." It's like pulling a guys pants down and saying he was asking for it because he was sagging, but really, he just enjoys sagging that's how he chooses to dress. How dare you say women cannot wear what they feel comfortable in because they're "asking for attention". We should feel confident to express ourselves without living in fear that someone will disrespect us at least once throughout the day. Cat calling is disrespectful, demeaning, deHUMANIZING, etc. If you think catcalling will score you a date with a girl, the honest truth is it will do the complete opposite. This is a form of sexual harassment and must come to an end. Don't even catcall as a joke because no one is laughing but you and your immature friends. Women are not objects, we are not an animal, we are human. We deserve every right to choose how we want to live our lives, what we want to wear, and being able to go wherever we want without praying no one will harass them on the street. We should not have to feel endangered when running errands alone. Catcalling really increases women's fears of being a victim of sexual assault. This needs to end.
Know how to give a proper compliment or don't give one at all. There is a difference between, "Excuse me, how are you doing?"/"You look lovely today" and "Aye lemme see whats under that dress!"/"Ay ma!" Throw these trashy actions away.
No comments:
Post a Comment