I am a human being.
I feel the same emotions that another feels.
I am not the strongest.
I have my own set of weaknesses.
I am a human being.
I am not a prize to be won.
I am human.

I am an individual who can only take in so much out of a certain situation. I am not invincible. I have my own set of limits. I am a human being for crying out loud! You cannot expect me to not feel sadness at a time like this. You cannot expect me to not feel guilty over this.
I do not know if this is what God is sending me as a test of faith for him, but I do know that I'm slowly losing grip. I am lost. I know what I want but I don't know what God wants for me. I do not know if this is a team effort of two people. If this is what God is putting us to the test with.
I do not know how long I can still stick around. I do not know if it's worth staying anymore. I don't know if I should give space in a time like this.

If I have to be honest, I was the happiest I've ever been. Things finally started falling into place and I knew it is incomparable to my past. I knew that it was not going to be the same anymore. That I can finally put my trust in someone without pushing them away like I always did. But lately I have been feeling such a heavy burden that has affected me in many ways. I am slowly growing tired. I'm growing impatient when I shouldn't be. But I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to believe in something that will only greatly hurt me in the end. I don't want to hold onto to something that will disappear soon. This is coming in all so fast.

But I do not know anymore. I hurt too. I feel like this all unnecessary and I just want it to end.
I am a human being.