"The Climb"

There are times we go through such hardships and are blinded by our blessings that we forget about what we have because we are too focused on what we don't have. We encounter times where some lose their way from the Lord, lose their identity, and go insane. Trying too hard to balance everything in our lives that we forget to save time for God--forgetting that he deserves our time with all he's done for us.

After a talk with a couple of the youth, it gave me a short time to reflect about my past. The things I've done in high school, the people I've associated myself with, and thinking I already knew who I was by the age of 15. I have to admit that there are a good handful of things I wish I didn't do yesterday, last week, last month, last year, and five years before. What I realized is with all these regrets, I down myself. I put myself down over some stupid mistake that supposedly haunts me until today. What I didn't know was about the great feeling you get after a prayer with the Lord. When you sacrifice something, ask for guidance, ask for strength… you feel a sense of relief to know you pretty much vented your heart out. Even if I thought I knew who I was by 15, I will admit that now I know I am still a work in progress.

There's something about the topic of relationships that intrigues me. I guess it's the way I observe people talk about their love, their confusion, their anger, fear, frustration, and pain. Something about a description of their feelings interests me. You learn a little more about the individual you are speaking to. You're given an opportunity to open up as well--that is, if they're willing to listen. You get to know about one another because of the common interests you share. Talking about relationships is really interesting and you learn how others cope, how others "make a move," and what goes in their minds before setting themselves up in a new relationship. That to how one is fearful of a relationship and pretty much cut out being in one to save themselves from heartbreak. You meet people who stray from relationships until they feel like God is personally leading someone to them. We get to know about their prayers, what they look for in someone, and the great heights they are wiling to climb through to be happy with someone else. Feelings are really something. When things first spark, they're all you think about. They're who you look forward to, who you wish to be with, who you want to talk to. You gain excitement for the next time you get to see them.

I've been out of this relationship page for a long while now but I'm honestly okay with it. Because in between, I've made such great friends who I feel like will be around for a really long time. It's a different kind of friendship from being friends with someone because you simply had a class in high school with them. There's something else that creates the bond, but wow it's a strong one. Things will fall into place in it's own time, and I know to never force something. "The faster you get into something, the faster you get out of it." So, to all the friends I've made in the last couple of years, thanks so much for letting me into your lives and letting me be a part of it.

Summer break is coming to an end for students at Universities. Krystal & Erica left and are doing their own things now in their new apartments. I finally decided to join PASA thanks to Raissa and I had a really good time at the members retreat last Saturday. I met some nice people and I look forward to seeing more of them. I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone and I'm trying to be more social. I'm usually really shy when meeting someone for the first time but I have to remind myself to really just be myself when introducing who I am to others. I had a Human Bio midterm yesterday and wow did it rape me. The first half was easy but once the fill in the blanks came, I was just like "NOPE". I have one more midterm coming up this Thursday for my Environmental Science class and seriously that class is just a pain that studying for it is worse. But I know I need to keep my focus in it. I'm thinking of actually cutting out some social media's for a while just so I can focus on my studies, but at the same time, that's how I keep in touch with some people. We'll see, we'll see.

I've been listening to City & Colour repeatedly for the last couple of days. How can you not love Dallas Green? I've also just been listening to Jhené Aiko's newest release and I love it.

I'm happy that my mom is finally coming home tonight. I haven't had a home cooked meal in 2 weeks and I've lost weight because of that! Haha, or maybe I should just stop eating home cooked meals so I don't gain weight.

Charlene