W.A.Y.S

Promises

Eternal Sunshine

I cannot listen to those songs anymore without tearing ever since my cousin left us. 

I wish you could be here and see everything we're doing. I just know how proud you would have been and every time I think of you and start to miss you, I feel like I know what you would have told us to show your support. I like to think of those thoughts of you actually telling me that yourself. I can't believe it's been half a year already. The time has been going by so fast but not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Every time I check my instagram page I see your face and start to feel emotional. I know you're up there watching over us and still cheering us on, I just know it. The pain of knowing you are no longer physically with us still lingers. I cry a couple nights a week when I start missing you. The reality has not hit yet and I know the pain of your absence will always linger. I get so many flashbacks of all the birthdays, the Christmas and Thanksgiving parties, Sunday mornings, gym sessions, sister dates, and our childhood and the shit we used to do in my house. I was showing one of my friends my old Maplestory videos and came across the Fabulous one you and I made together. I can't stop thinking of you and your laugh. Your presence lit up the room and your vibes were contagious. Everything about you is so memorable and impactful in all our lives. I still feel your presence and know you're still with us but I wish I could give you another hug. 

I don't think I will ever stop questioning why God brought you home so soon. I don't think I will ever understand and be okay with how you left us on this earth. But I am so fucking thankful to have had the opportunity to be your cousin in this lifetime and I can't wait for us to reunite in the after life.