I'm getting my hair colored next weekend and I wanted to try on some outfits to take pictures in cause I'll be going to the salon with my friend. I figured I might as well take some photos to post on my 25th birthday since I most likely will be celebrating alone anyways. I tried on a couple of dresses and took some mock photos in them and just wanted to cry with how I looked. 

I badly need to take a social media break because I feel like every one I see has the same body. There's a trend on TikTok of girls who show off their regular stomachs and I still think their stomachs are flat and look nice compared to mine. Even if their stomachs are more round, their faces are still slim and they're still pretty. I hate myself. I hate how I look. I hate who I am. I even hate my personality. 

I only feel comfortable in oversized T-Shirts and baggy pants. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say wow I feel smaller today! Or I put on leggings and they fit perfectly and not too light like some other days. But then I see myself in pictures... I see my arms, I see my stomach, I see my double chin... I'm so disgusted with myself and I've felt this way about myself for the past couple of years. I feel so unattractive. 

I can't even find motivation right now to get up and do a workout. I'm not feeling it today. I woke up pretty excited and energized but it was all gone after 2 hours. 

I fucking hate myself, haha.