There have been so many times this year where I never felt worthy of love and to be loved

Did not feel worthy to be wanted... Did not feel wanted at all

I’ve been broken and this rearrangement is a difficult and painful process

I have lost myself in the cracks and cannot find all the pieces of me that have gone missing

I am different than I was last year 

There are parts of me I will never get back and the person I’ve become today will never be who I was before

I am bruised and I am damaged and have the hardest time reminding myself I am still worthy of love 

I look at myself in the mirror and wish I was no more

I look at myself in the mirror and see nothing but a monster waiting to die

I have the hardest time telling myself that I deserve to live and I have the hardest time accepting the shots fired at me 

I do not know God’s plan in my life. I do not know the path He has for me. I do not know His purpose for these bruises and scars

I must learn to love myself again so I can stop begging others for love 

I must learn to love myself again so I don’t depend on the validation of others

I must learn to love myself again so I can stop hurting the people I don’t want to lose

I must learn to love myself again so I can stop being a burden 

But no matter how hard life gets for me

No matter how hard it is to keep going 

I must work to become a better me

I must be patient with this process 

In order to fill the cracks of my missing pieces

And rediscover myself