God has called my grandmother to be with him in heaven this week. She is now living pain and worry free.
Going back to the Philippines will never be the same without seeing her big beautiful smile when entering through the gates of her house. She would always be in the center waiting for our arrival then immediately asking us if we wanted anything to eat. It truly saddens me that I haven't seen her in such a long time. I believe it's been 4 years. My family and I used to visit every two years but things got very busy, holding us back. What also hurts me is thinking about our plans of coming home this Christmas. But these happenings have caught everyone by surprise. When my mom came back home from the Philippines, my grandmother was in stable condition. She was responding and smiling. But five days after my mom's return home, we got the news.
Like I said, it caught everyone by surprise. We all thought things were okay. Monday morning, I was still up pretty late just doing some homework. Our internet went down for that time so I couldn't use Spotify to listen to music so I used my iTouch instead. Around 1:45 am, I went to the restroom in my mom's room and set my iTouch on the bed while still playing music. While in the restroom, the music stops playing and I get scared because I didn't know the reason why it stopped. I figured my iTouch ran out of battery. I called Lauren because I knew she was still up and told her why I was scared. When I stepped out to check my iTouch, it was fully charged. My mom does graveyard shifts so I texted her "Mom". Then, because I didn't reply to her response after, she calls me asking what's happening. I just told her I was scared because my music randomly stopped playing. Then around 2:30 am, I get another call from my mom and she's sobbing and I couldn't understand anything she was saying other than, "Lola (grandmother in Tagalog) is gone" and "my mom is gone". I was so in shock that it took me a while to process what I was trying to decipher as my mom spoke. She continued saying all these things but I couldn't understand a single word. I wake my dad up so we can both talk to her and try to comfort her. I couldn't sleep. My grandmother passed away September 29, 2014.
My mom comes home at 8 in the morning and all I could do was hug her while she cried. She kept saying she didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say and ended up just crying with her. Then as I prepared for school, I just overheard my mom calling family to let them in on what's happened. My mom was telling them how my Lola said her "goodbye" to me the night before. That it was the reason my music stopped playing. I also heard her say that before she left the Philippines, my grandma told her that my birthday was coming up the week after. How she would never forget my birthday. Tears started to run down my face.
So my birthday was pretty much a sad one. How could I celebrate my birthday knowing that my grandmother passed away the morning before? My parents are both leaving for the Philippines tomorrow (or today, October 1) and will be gone until October 12. My family and I went out for lunch in DTLA but it wasn't like our usual lunches. We were quiet. My mom was tired. My dad had a busy mind. I just tried to make the best of it and tried to stay positive. It just angers me that I can't be with them when they go back to the Philippines. I can't go with them to visit my family and see my grandmother one more time. That I can't do anything else but pray. It's not like I'll be able to pay attention in class because I'll be too busy waiting for a text from my parents. My mind will be too preoccupied with other thoughts instead of studying. But I know I must be strong and just trust in the Lord with all my heart. Trust that God has a purpose for everything that happens in our life and that we must always seek Him first.
I pray that my parents have a safe flight back to the Philippines. I pray for guidance for myself as well because I will be far away from them. I pray for my family back home to stay strong.
To whomever is reading this:
Cherish your life. Cherish and make time for those you love because life can always take us by surprise. Remind them you love them everyday and always have a forgiving heart. Remember to always pray and to never lose hope. Make the best of every situation no matter how tough things may get. To always spread love instead of hate. We are all fighting our own battles. There is no need to hurt another because something didn't go your way or didn't add up to your expectations. Be kind to all, smile to strangers, and just spread happiness. Some people bottle up all their emotions when all they really need is for someone to listen and not judge them. Like I said, remind those you love that you love them. Show them how much you love them. Show them how thankful you are for them because they are in your life. Also like already mentioned, make time for those you love! We always think we can see someone whenever we want to, but one day that will no longer be an option. In the blink of an eye, those we love will be taken away from us. We can no longer see them when we feel like it. We will no longer hear their voices, feel their touch, and we will no longer be able to make new memories with them. Make the best of today! Don't think too much about the future and thinking we all have the same amount of time. Because the reality is, we don't. Spend your time with God, with those who help you grow, who make you happiest, and cherish every millisecond with them.
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