how I'm still here I really don't know
but I'm glad I am

some days are hard and unbearable
some days its hard to put a smile on my face
some days its hard to be a friend
some days its hard to get out of bed
some days its hard to even get myself to eat anything

but sometimes the days are better
sometimes they are lighter
sometimes they are easier
sometimes they are bearable

this past month there as been improvement
the good days have been outweighing the bad
I notice the insecurities still peeking through
and the fear of the uncertainties
the fear of the past repeating itself

but things are still better than they were before
the suicidal thoughts started to fade from everyday
to every other day
to every other...other day
I don't miss those thoughts


I really thought I was going to lose myself